Do you ever have the feeling that you're just not "right"? I've been feeling that way for a few weeks now. One thing that I just don't like about myself, but am finding it hard to overcome is that I like to escape. When things are hard, I'd rather read a good book, watch TV, or eat a bowl of ice cream. I read a really good quote recently from a book by Dan Allender called To Be Told.
"So what really moves us? It's whatever we love. If I love the feeling of being full, satisfied, and content, I will love the ease that any false god like food can provide . . . Doughnuts require less risk, suffering, and loss than a 30 minute workout. And I love what takes away pain and suffering more than I love what is true, good, or lovely."
Argh!! He might as well have written, "Dear Sarah Pippin." Numerous things are rolling around in my head. One that I've mentioned here before - Little Guy starting Kindergarten. With that for me comes stress and guilt. I have such high expectations for myself as a mom. No one told me to do that. I put it on myself. When I feel like I'm not living up to this "ideal" in my head, I want to drown myself in Chocolate Moose Tracks and watch Toddlers and Tiaras. Why do we run away? I want to feel good. I want to escape this world that is not my home and all the pain and heartache in it. I value that more than I do what is "true, good, or lovely." It's good to take a look at hard things. It's true and lovely to put down the remote and the ice cream carton and engage with Jesus. But, it is hard. Oh that I would value what is lovely.
To COMPLETELY change the subject. We puppy sat yet again this weekend. Here is our Sweet Girl. She'll probably be a veterinarian when she grows up.
2 videos today! With school comes learning to read. Here is Little Guy making his way through Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. Listen for Sweet Girl doing her own version of "reading" off to the side.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Kids Say the Darnedest Things
Blair and I were literally laughing out loud at this conversation over dinner tonight (trying to be discreet, of course, so as not to hurt Little Guy's feelings).
Me: Julie's going to have the baby on Monday!
Little Guy: (excitedly) Really!
Me: Yes! Maybe we can go see her.
Little: I remember when we went to see Sweet Girl's bones!
Blair and I were a little bit confused, because I could find no context for when we would have seen her bones anywhere. Little Guy kept trying to help us remember . . . "You know - when we saw her bones and they were black and white." Blair finally pieced together that he was talking about the ultrasound.
Me: Yes! I remember that, but we're going to see Julie's actual baby.
Little Guy: I could see her brain inside her face!!!!!!
Me: Julie's going to have the baby on Monday!
Little Guy: (excitedly) Really!
Me: Yes! Maybe we can go see her.
Little: I remember when we went to see Sweet Girl's bones!
Blair and I were a little bit confused, because I could find no context for when we would have seen her bones anywhere. Little Guy kept trying to help us remember . . . "You know - when we saw her bones and they were black and white." Blair finally pieced together that he was talking about the ultrasound.
Me: Yes! I remember that, but we're going to see Julie's actual baby.
Little Guy: I could see her brain inside her face!!!!!!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Jekyll and Hyde
3/5's of the first week of school down! Oh, there's so much I could write, but the emotions of the week exhausted me, so I'm going to try to keep it short and sweet.
Little Guy is in Kindergarten! Everyone was pretty calm on Monday morning. We had to leave at 8am to get him to school by 8:45am, and we live, oh, about 7 minutes from the school. Imagine a school with 9 Kindergartens and picture everyone (K-5) trying to get in the same doors - insanity!
Here's Little Guy sporting his Lightning backpack before leaving the house.
1 kiddo + 1 handsome husband
After finally finding a parking space, here we are walking in. The biggest excitement at this point was seeing a snake under our car . . .
As we're walking in, I think, "I just can't believe we're doing this. I just can't believe we're doing this." over and over to myself. Little Guy is excited though. Can you imagine dropping this kiddo off for the first time?
I hold it together until we leave the room. As I'm walking out, I turn around to look at him, and the huge-ness of the moment hits me. He looks so small and so young.
I ask him if he's okay. He says he's fine, and I can tell he is . . .
The rest of the day is a blur. Looking back I know I was just counting down the minutes until he got off that bus. He made it. He loved it. It was a great day.
One thing I did not anticipate was how much Sweet Girl would miss him. She was out of sorts all day. As we were leaving the house, she kept saying, "my ack ack! my ack ack!" translated - "My backpack! My backpack!" - meaning she thought she should have a backpack to go to school, too - heartbreaking!
Here she is hugging him before we left . . .
The last 2 days have been a dream, and I was driving home today thinking "Wow - we might actually have been worried for nothing. This is amazing!" Spoke (or thought) too soon! Blair was home this afternoon, so he went to the bus stop to get Little Guy. As I heard the door open downstairs, I immediately heard wailing. I mean this was weeping and gnashing of teeth . . .
Here he is getting off the bus today - the calm before the storm . . . (note the holding up of the shorts leg)
Well, he must have fallen on the way to get ON the bus, and he held in his tears until he saw his Daddy. Then he cried all the way home, and I kid you not about 20 minutes afterwards all because of the major travesty of skinning his knee. Now, I've told you before he is sensitive, but this was excessive even for him. At this point I know he is beyond tired, so I MAKE him take a nap. He goes to the bed kicking and screaming, but he is OUT in 2 seconds.
I wake him up at 4:30, and he finally utters an intelligible word at 5:00. We have baths before dinner, and he cries for about another 15 minutes because Blair tells him to put his pj's on. What ever happened to half day Kindergarten????
The drama finally ended, and I had to laugh to myself at just the up and down-ness of the evening. We have been playing around with starting to potty train Sweet Girl. Well, she goes over to the potty (which sits now in our living room) and Little Guy says, "I smell poo poo." She had gone over to sit on the potty and pooped on the potty WITH her diaper ON. Well, now, I'm convinced that my 5 year old is going to potty train my 2 year old for me! He gets all worked up and tells her to take her diaper off, takes her upstairs, sits her on the potty, and starts to "read" a book to her while she's "trying" to go. It's hilarious.
Even though Little Guy has been Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde tonight. I'm sitting there looking at Sweet Girl sitting on the plastic potty and Little Guy attempting to read Dr. Seuss to her and thinking, "What a good older brother and sister they would be to some sweet child that has yet to join our family." How blessed that child will be to have them. How blessed I am to have them. How blessed we will be to have that child.
Little Guy is in Kindergarten! Everyone was pretty calm on Monday morning. We had to leave at 8am to get him to school by 8:45am, and we live, oh, about 7 minutes from the school. Imagine a school with 9 Kindergartens and picture everyone (K-5) trying to get in the same doors - insanity!
Here's Little Guy sporting his Lightning backpack before leaving the house.
1 kiddo + 1 handsome husband
After finally finding a parking space, here we are walking in. The biggest excitement at this point was seeing a snake under our car . . .
As we're walking in, I think, "I just can't believe we're doing this. I just can't believe we're doing this." over and over to myself. Little Guy is excited though. Can you imagine dropping this kiddo off for the first time?
I hold it together until we leave the room. As I'm walking out, I turn around to look at him, and the huge-ness of the moment hits me. He looks so small and so young.
I ask him if he's okay. He says he's fine, and I can tell he is . . .
The rest of the day is a blur. Looking back I know I was just counting down the minutes until he got off that bus. He made it. He loved it. It was a great day.
One thing I did not anticipate was how much Sweet Girl would miss him. She was out of sorts all day. As we were leaving the house, she kept saying, "my ack ack! my ack ack!" translated - "My backpack! My backpack!" - meaning she thought she should have a backpack to go to school, too - heartbreaking!
Here she is hugging him before we left . . .
The last 2 days have been a dream, and I was driving home today thinking "Wow - we might actually have been worried for nothing. This is amazing!" Spoke (or thought) too soon! Blair was home this afternoon, so he went to the bus stop to get Little Guy. As I heard the door open downstairs, I immediately heard wailing. I mean this was weeping and gnashing of teeth . . .
Here he is getting off the bus today - the calm before the storm . . . (note the holding up of the shorts leg)
Well, he must have fallen on the way to get ON the bus, and he held in his tears until he saw his Daddy. Then he cried all the way home, and I kid you not about 20 minutes afterwards all because of the major travesty of skinning his knee. Now, I've told you before he is sensitive, but this was excessive even for him. At this point I know he is beyond tired, so I MAKE him take a nap. He goes to the bed kicking and screaming, but he is OUT in 2 seconds.
I wake him up at 4:30, and he finally utters an intelligible word at 5:00. We have baths before dinner, and he cries for about another 15 minutes because Blair tells him to put his pj's on. What ever happened to half day Kindergarten????
The drama finally ended, and I had to laugh to myself at just the up and down-ness of the evening. We have been playing around with starting to potty train Sweet Girl. Well, she goes over to the potty (which sits now in our living room) and Little Guy says, "I smell poo poo." She had gone over to sit on the potty and pooped on the potty WITH her diaper ON. Well, now, I'm convinced that my 5 year old is going to potty train my 2 year old for me! He gets all worked up and tells her to take her diaper off, takes her upstairs, sits her on the potty, and starts to "read" a book to her while she's "trying" to go. It's hilarious.
Even though Little Guy has been Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde tonight. I'm sitting there looking at Sweet Girl sitting on the plastic potty and Little Guy attempting to read Dr. Seuss to her and thinking, "What a good older brother and sister they would be to some sweet child that has yet to join our family." How blessed that child will be to have them. How blessed I am to have them. How blessed we will be to have that child.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Pre-Kindergarten Weekend
We have been trying to make the most of our time before Little Guy's first day of school TOMORROW!!! Here are some pictures and a video to show a little of the fun we had.
We took care of a puppy this weekend . . . Sweet Girl's dream come true! Please note the special language she uses to communicate with Lola - never heard it before. Also, note how many people it actually takes to walk a dog.
Ever since we got a Nintendo Wii, Little Guy has been asking to go bowling. He LOVES Wii bowling, which he discovered tonight is a bit different from real bowling. We thought - what a fun back to school celebration to take him bowling for the first time. This is our first time bowling as a family with some other dear friends, the Jones. Although, lesson learned, before the first day of school next year, we'll probably make it a low key evening . . .
Sweet Girl couldn't decide which ball she wanted (not that she could lift any of them).
We took care of a puppy this weekend . . . Sweet Girl's dream come true! Please note the special language she uses to communicate with Lola - never heard it before. Also, note how many people it actually takes to walk a dog.
Ever since we got a Nintendo Wii, Little Guy has been asking to go bowling. He LOVES Wii bowling, which he discovered tonight is a bit different from real bowling. We thought - what a fun back to school celebration to take him bowling for the first time. This is our first time bowling as a family with some other dear friends, the Jones. Although, lesson learned, before the first day of school next year, we'll probably make it a low key evening . . .
This is quite a pose. Not sure I'd win any awards for my bowling form. And, no, Sweet Girl isn't giving me a piggy back ride.
Here's Little Guy and his sweet friend. I hope he'll stay in this stage a long time before girls have cooties.
Not only did we bowl, but we ended the evening with ice cream!
Not sure what game this was, but it sure looks fun!
It's always nice when your big brother and his friend let you play too.
Here we are, our little family, including 1 new Kindergartener!
Friday, August 19, 2011
10 Items or Less
As we do more frequently than not, we headed to Target this evening. I have actually been in all day meetings this past 2 days with Blair's team. Because of this, there was not a speck of food in the house. We could possibly have made a dinner on a few out of date packages of Babybel cheese with maybe some canned green beans to redeem the meal. Instead, we went to Cracker Barrel, then on to Target.
Blair had to leave us after dinner to go to an HOA meeting in our neighborhood. Things were fine at first, I got one of those special carts (not like the cool race car carts at Publix) but that have the 2 bench seats in front of the cart. The pro is that the kids love it. The con is that they cannot be contained. I brought coloring books and crayons to (hopefully) entertain them, but the thrill of those lasted about 18 seconds for Sweet Girl. I mean why color Hello Kitty when you can stack boxes of Oatmeal Creme Pies in the aisle?
Getting the groceries was definitely chaos control, but nothing out of the ordinary for the most part, until the end. It was a little crowded (NOTHING like the tax free day, of course) but the check out lines were still about 3 people deep. Number 11 had only 1 person checking out with not many items, so I raced for that one. I'm attempting to unload my groceries onto the belt, while trying to keep Sweet Girl from pulling out every single miscellaneous item in the impulse buy section.
I am stressed. I'm just sure that Sweet Girl is somehow going to smuggle one of those items out and then we'll be "taken in" for petty theft. At the same time I'm furiously unloading so I won't hold up the line. When I finally make it over to the sweet little girl checking me out, she says, "I'm not sure if you noticed it or not, but this is a 10 items or less line." My first response was to feel terrible. I apologized profusely. Then the more I thought about it, the more my sinful nature came out. I was totally in the wrong. I admit that, but give a gal a break! So, I asked her, "Do you have kids?" She laughed and said no. I said, "When you bring 2 little kids to a place like this, it's really easy to miss the signs." I wish I could say I was trying to make conversation so that I could tell her about Jesus. Part of me was just making conversation, but I fear another part of me was being a bit of a "smart mouth." I'm just being honest here, and screaming kids in the store do not a spirit-filled mommy make!
Now, Sweet Girl is absolutely screaming with my attempts to get her to put things back. I'm holding her in one arm, trying to swipe my card with the other. Sometimes I just wonder - how did I get here???? Finally, I pay and get the bags loaded up. This sweet little check out girl just looks up at me and says, "good luck." Now, the crayons are spilling out on the floor, Sweet Girl is still screaming, I'm certain people are staring, but I don't have the nerve to look anyone in the eyes. I sit Sweet Girl on a bin so that I can pick up crayons, but for some reason the bin is vibrating. A security guard passes by, but I can't make eye contact with him either for fear that he'll think I'm abusing my child.
I don't know how we made it home, but we did. What redeemed the evening was when we got home, I left both van doors open and quickly grabbed a couple of grocery bags so I could get to the door and turn the alarm off just in case one of the kids set it off. Little Guy closed his door, went around the van and closed Sweet Girl's door and then proceeded to get a bag of groceries out to carry in. What a guy! At least he has a great Daddy!
No energy tonight even for random pics - more to come next time.
Blair had to leave us after dinner to go to an HOA meeting in our neighborhood. Things were fine at first, I got one of those special carts (not like the cool race car carts at Publix) but that have the 2 bench seats in front of the cart. The pro is that the kids love it. The con is that they cannot be contained. I brought coloring books and crayons to (hopefully) entertain them, but the thrill of those lasted about 18 seconds for Sweet Girl. I mean why color Hello Kitty when you can stack boxes of Oatmeal Creme Pies in the aisle?
Getting the groceries was definitely chaos control, but nothing out of the ordinary for the most part, until the end. It was a little crowded (NOTHING like the tax free day, of course) but the check out lines were still about 3 people deep. Number 11 had only 1 person checking out with not many items, so I raced for that one. I'm attempting to unload my groceries onto the belt, while trying to keep Sweet Girl from pulling out every single miscellaneous item in the impulse buy section.
I am stressed. I'm just sure that Sweet Girl is somehow going to smuggle one of those items out and then we'll be "taken in" for petty theft. At the same time I'm furiously unloading so I won't hold up the line. When I finally make it over to the sweet little girl checking me out, she says, "I'm not sure if you noticed it or not, but this is a 10 items or less line." My first response was to feel terrible. I apologized profusely. Then the more I thought about it, the more my sinful nature came out. I was totally in the wrong. I admit that, but give a gal a break! So, I asked her, "Do you have kids?" She laughed and said no. I said, "When you bring 2 little kids to a place like this, it's really easy to miss the signs." I wish I could say I was trying to make conversation so that I could tell her about Jesus. Part of me was just making conversation, but I fear another part of me was being a bit of a "smart mouth." I'm just being honest here, and screaming kids in the store do not a spirit-filled mommy make!
Now, Sweet Girl is absolutely screaming with my attempts to get her to put things back. I'm holding her in one arm, trying to swipe my card with the other. Sometimes I just wonder - how did I get here???? Finally, I pay and get the bags loaded up. This sweet little check out girl just looks up at me and says, "good luck." Now, the crayons are spilling out on the floor, Sweet Girl is still screaming, I'm certain people are staring, but I don't have the nerve to look anyone in the eyes. I sit Sweet Girl on a bin so that I can pick up crayons, but for some reason the bin is vibrating. A security guard passes by, but I can't make eye contact with him either for fear that he'll think I'm abusing my child.
I don't know how we made it home, but we did. What redeemed the evening was when we got home, I left both van doors open and quickly grabbed a couple of grocery bags so I could get to the door and turn the alarm off just in case one of the kids set it off. Little Guy closed his door, went around the van and closed Sweet Girl's door and then proceeded to get a bag of groceries out to carry in. What a guy! At least he has a great Daddy!
No energy tonight even for random pics - more to come next time.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The God Who Sees
You know how some nights putting your kids to bed (if you have kids, and if you don't, you can probably imagine) are just kind of hum-drum? If I'm honest with myself, some nights I'm rushing through the "Jesus Storybook Bible" that we read to our kids at night. I'm hurrying through our prayers - rushing through the 18th chorus of Noah and the arky, arky. Tonight though I felt like I was on holy ground . . .
Blair was brushing Sweet Girl's teeth and Little Guy brings over his Veggie Tales devotion book that I bought with the best of intentions, but only made it through, um, day 7 I think. I end up reading Day 1 to him while we're waiting for the teeth brushing to conclude. It talked about Jesus being in our heart. We honestly are not pushy with our kids, because we want them to understand what they're doing when they make a decision for Jesus, to be intellectually and emotionally mature enough to really understand it. We don't want them to "pray a prayer" just so we can wipe our foreheads and go "whew!" or be able to tell our friends that they did it.
I did take this chance though to ask a few questions, and this is how the conversation went . . .
Me: Little Guy, have you asked Jesus into your heart?
Little Guy: Yep.
Me: When did you do that?
Little Guy: I do that every day, kind of quiet.
I am first of all amazed by this. Second of all, I'm completely surprised in the sweetest sense of the word at his innocence and in some sense that he has a spiritual life all of his own. So . . .
Me: You know you don't have to do that every day. You only have to do it once, and Jesus is in there forever.
Little Guy: Okay
Both Blair and my antennas are up now, so Blair starts asking him questions and that go something like this . . .
Blair: What did Jesus do?
Little Guy: He died.
Blair: Why did He die?
Little Guy: For our sins.
Blair: What are our sins?
Little Guy: Bad stuff.
Well, this conversation continues on through Blair tucking him in. I think we were both over-eager because we've never gotten such clear answers or such a willingness to talk about it. So, we probably overdid it on the questions. Eventually, Sweet Little Guy says, "Daddy, we don't need to talk about this anymore. It's time for me to go to sleep now." You know your son is done talking to you about something when he ASKS to go to bed!
It was truly a sweet moment, and I have no idea if this was "his moment" that he'll forever share when he tells people how he came to know the Lord. But, right now, I'm amazed at God's precious gift to me in light of him starting Kindergarten on Monday and all the emotions I've been feeling with that. It's as if God is telling me He "sees" me and "sees" Little Guy and that the He will be doing the same while he's in school. I feel truly cared for and known and seen. I feel utterly blessed beyond measure to know El Roi - the God who sees.
Random picture time:
Smoothie makin'
Check out this adorable little baker/ballerina. I have an apron to match courtesy of my dear, talented friend, Keri.
Blair was brushing Sweet Girl's teeth and Little Guy brings over his Veggie Tales devotion book that I bought with the best of intentions, but only made it through, um, day 7 I think. I end up reading Day 1 to him while we're waiting for the teeth brushing to conclude. It talked about Jesus being in our heart. We honestly are not pushy with our kids, because we want them to understand what they're doing when they make a decision for Jesus, to be intellectually and emotionally mature enough to really understand it. We don't want them to "pray a prayer" just so we can wipe our foreheads and go "whew!" or be able to tell our friends that they did it.
I did take this chance though to ask a few questions, and this is how the conversation went . . .
Me: Little Guy, have you asked Jesus into your heart?
Little Guy: Yep.
Me: When did you do that?
Little Guy: I do that every day, kind of quiet.
I am first of all amazed by this. Second of all, I'm completely surprised in the sweetest sense of the word at his innocence and in some sense that he has a spiritual life all of his own. So . . .
Me: You know you don't have to do that every day. You only have to do it once, and Jesus is in there forever.
Little Guy: Okay
Both Blair and my antennas are up now, so Blair starts asking him questions and that go something like this . . .
Blair: What did Jesus do?
Little Guy: He died.
Blair: Why did He die?
Little Guy: For our sins.
Blair: What are our sins?
Little Guy: Bad stuff.
Well, this conversation continues on through Blair tucking him in. I think we were both over-eager because we've never gotten such clear answers or such a willingness to talk about it. So, we probably overdid it on the questions. Eventually, Sweet Little Guy says, "Daddy, we don't need to talk about this anymore. It's time for me to go to sleep now." You know your son is done talking to you about something when he ASKS to go to bed!
It was truly a sweet moment, and I have no idea if this was "his moment" that he'll forever share when he tells people how he came to know the Lord. But, right now, I'm amazed at God's precious gift to me in light of him starting Kindergarten on Monday and all the emotions I've been feeling with that. It's as if God is telling me He "sees" me and "sees" Little Guy and that the He will be doing the same while he's in school. I feel truly cared for and known and seen. I feel utterly blessed beyond measure to know El Roi - the God who sees.
Random picture time:
Smoothie makin'
Check out this adorable little baker/ballerina. I have an apron to match courtesy of my dear, talented friend, Keri.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
"Tax Free" Madhouse
I had a little more to add about my shopping trip with Little Guy last Friday . . .
So, Friday Little Guy and I ventured out to Target for 3 reasons: 1 - it was "tax free" weekend in Florida, so with that plus using my Target Red Card I could save 11% on school supplies 2 - I thought it would something fun Little Guy and I could do together 3 - Target has Starbuck's and all kinds of yummy other snacks AND if you are lucky they have cake samples at the bakery.
Well, it was a major FAIL on all 3 accounts: 1 - "tax free" translates into "madhouse full of people who will punch you in the face to get to a good deal" or "aisles full of carts that people have forgotten about because they are digging through things and which you might sprain something trying to get around them" 2 - I mentioned this in my last post but for a 5 year old buying school supplies with your mom ranks right up there with getting your fingernails clipped 3 - well, I guess the snacks thing wasn't a total failure. It was no Auntie Anne's but it wasn't a bad cinnamon sugar pretzel.
The funniest part occurred about 3/4s through the trip. It was about 3:30 and I was supposed to leave for the women's retreat at 5:30. I hear the standard Iphone ring and realize it's actually mine, although it could have been any of the 16 other people in that aisle. It says "Tammie" on the caller ID, and I figure I'd better answer it, because she is the women's ministry leader of our church. I thought she might be calling with crucial information about the weekend.
I say hello. We talk for a brief second, and then she gets down to why she called. What I'm hearing her say is that she wants me to lead an hour long seminar at the retreat about outreach. The bottom drops out of the stomach. This pushes me over the edge for several reasons - I am in insecure speaker. Whenever I have to speak in public, it takes me about a month to prepare and this supposed seminar is supposed to take place TOMORROW. I have had a fairly stressful week as you may have read about in an earlier post. Lastly, I'm in the middle of the "tax free" madhouse zone. So, I do what any crazed, stressed woman would do. I burst into tears. Poor Tammie. I think she was speechless. Turns out she was actually asking me to lead a discussion about orphan care ministry. She knows I am very interested in starting something like this at church. She was actually giving me an opportunity, but I burst into tears about it. Oh, my. Someday I'll look back and miss this stage of life, right??????????
You know I always have to add random pictures. This is right before bedtime. Please ignore me in this picture, and if you've never met me, don't judge me by it!
I guess these are the moments that will make me miss this life stage . . .
So, Friday Little Guy and I ventured out to Target for 3 reasons: 1 - it was "tax free" weekend in Florida, so with that plus using my Target Red Card I could save 11% on school supplies 2 - I thought it would something fun Little Guy and I could do together 3 - Target has Starbuck's and all kinds of yummy other snacks AND if you are lucky they have cake samples at the bakery.
Well, it was a major FAIL on all 3 accounts: 1 - "tax free" translates into "madhouse full of people who will punch you in the face to get to a good deal" or "aisles full of carts that people have forgotten about because they are digging through things and which you might sprain something trying to get around them" 2 - I mentioned this in my last post but for a 5 year old buying school supplies with your mom ranks right up there with getting your fingernails clipped 3 - well, I guess the snacks thing wasn't a total failure. It was no Auntie Anne's but it wasn't a bad cinnamon sugar pretzel.
The funniest part occurred about 3/4s through the trip. It was about 3:30 and I was supposed to leave for the women's retreat at 5:30. I hear the standard Iphone ring and realize it's actually mine, although it could have been any of the 16 other people in that aisle. It says "Tammie" on the caller ID, and I figure I'd better answer it, because she is the women's ministry leader of our church. I thought she might be calling with crucial information about the weekend.
I say hello. We talk for a brief second, and then she gets down to why she called. What I'm hearing her say is that she wants me to lead an hour long seminar at the retreat about outreach. The bottom drops out of the stomach. This pushes me over the edge for several reasons - I am in insecure speaker. Whenever I have to speak in public, it takes me about a month to prepare and this supposed seminar is supposed to take place TOMORROW. I have had a fairly stressful week as you may have read about in an earlier post. Lastly, I'm in the middle of the "tax free" madhouse zone. So, I do what any crazed, stressed woman would do. I burst into tears. Poor Tammie. I think she was speechless. Turns out she was actually asking me to lead a discussion about orphan care ministry. She knows I am very interested in starting something like this at church. She was actually giving me an opportunity, but I burst into tears about it. Oh, my. Someday I'll look back and miss this stage of life, right??????????
You know I always have to add random pictures. This is right before bedtime. Please ignore me in this picture, and if you've never met me, don't judge me by it!
I guess these are the moments that will make me miss this life stage . . .
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Stream of Consciousness
You'll have to excuse me if things are misspelled and "stream of consciousness." I'm just recovering from an overnight retreat. Man, have I been tired today! I borrowed an air mattress from a very generous gal, but it happened to be one of those double stacker kind, that's sort of like 2 mattresses on top of each other. Well, I guess I didn't blow it up enough, because I was sort of sandwiched in the middle - picture the meat in a taco, that was me. The sweet woman who hosted all of us, just moved in to this beautiful house a couple of weeks ago. It was gorgeous! I was just thinking back to when we first moved into our house. We had to kick out the previous tenants, which were black widow spiders! I know if you've read my previous earwig posts you must think we live in the jungle, but nope, it's just Orlando. So, I'm thinking that, of course, if she just moved in those little guys are in her house too. I just knew they were going to seek me out . . . and bite me. And they'd find me dead in the morning. This kept me awake for a while, but obviously, I survived.
The time was well spent. The retreat was for those of us who will be leading Bible studies in the women's ministry this year. We talked about perfectionism and the parable of the talents. Lots of women especially young moms hide their "talents" because they're afraid they won't be able to serve well. It was a good reminder to invest the time I do have.
We also covered humility. She gave examples of selfish ambition: people pleasing, caring deeply about what people think, always defensive when criticized, desire to be noticed, sensitive, insecure. I wanted to say "get out of my head, lady!" It was good stuff, but hard to hear.
The job of the retreat was to prepare us more to lead Bible studies and disciple women in the coming weeks. I'm so looking forward to it. I get to co-lead with a really neat girl. We'll have about 5 others in our group to invest our time in. I'm excited to see what the Lord will do through it.
Little Guy and I had a special afternoon before I left buying school supplies. I'm not sure why I thought that shopping for pencils and paper would be special for a 5 year old . . . The toys kept luring him over. I did keep him with me for a cinnamon sugar pretzel though.
I forgot to add some pics from Colorado that we just got from a friend - sweet girl at the petting zoo. I told you this post might be "stream of consciousness," but I did want to share these because she loved the animals so much . . .
Please excuse the ice cream, icee, cookie, and hot dog on her face.
I do think this is right before a goat peed on my leg . . . literally.
The time was well spent. The retreat was for those of us who will be leading Bible studies in the women's ministry this year. We talked about perfectionism and the parable of the talents. Lots of women especially young moms hide their "talents" because they're afraid they won't be able to serve well. It was a good reminder to invest the time I do have.
We also covered humility. She gave examples of selfish ambition: people pleasing, caring deeply about what people think, always defensive when criticized, desire to be noticed, sensitive, insecure. I wanted to say "get out of my head, lady!" It was good stuff, but hard to hear.
The job of the retreat was to prepare us more to lead Bible studies and disciple women in the coming weeks. I'm so looking forward to it. I get to co-lead with a really neat girl. We'll have about 5 others in our group to invest our time in. I'm excited to see what the Lord will do through it.
Little Guy and I had a special afternoon before I left buying school supplies. I'm not sure why I thought that shopping for pencils and paper would be special for a 5 year old . . . The toys kept luring him over. I did keep him with me for a cinnamon sugar pretzel though.
I forgot to add some pics from Colorado that we just got from a friend - sweet girl at the petting zoo. I told you this post might be "stream of consciousness," but I did want to share these because she loved the animals so much . . .
Please excuse the ice cream, icee, cookie, and hot dog on her face.
I do think this is right before a goat peed on my leg . . . literally.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
One of Those Weeks
Oh, it's been an emotional week around here. Maybe you read about my encounter with Officer Charles . . . I've had some sleepless nights with stomach problems. It just hasn't been one of those wonderful weeks you always want to remember.
I figured out one reason I've been so emotional is that our Little Guy is going to Kindergarten. Now, you're probably thinking this would be a no-brainer - of course, I'd know that - with the first day of school being a week and a half away. While I'm usually pretty in tune with other people's emotions, I'm not always the most aware of my own.
I mean how could this little peanut . . .
be ready for Kindergarten?
Well, such is life . . . I know in my heart that he'll be fine. He loves school, but I will miss him. I'm sad to not spend the better part of the day with him. I worry about his transition. He still naps some days. Oh, how I can worry. I have questions like - Will he make friends? Will he be picked on? Will he feel alone and scared? Did we make the wrong decision sending him to public school?
I was talking with a wise person who correctly said, "you're having trouble letting go of control." It's true. I want to be there to wipe every tear and beat up any mean kids, but I can't. That's not life. Control is an illusion. So, now, like we have to do all the time as parents, I have to surrender him to Someone who is in control. If I'm there to wipe every tear and kiss every boo boo and solve every problem, he'll never see that he needs Jesus.
Ah, but easier said than done. I am choosing to be strong for him. He needs to know that I believe in him and that I am "for" him and that I know he will be fine. And he will.
On a sunnier note, I wanted to share some cute pics from the week . . .
She sat there and ate 2 lemons, crazy girl!
I couldn't help but laugh at this picture and think of Lily Tomlin playing "Edith Ann"
I figured out one reason I've been so emotional is that our Little Guy is going to Kindergarten. Now, you're probably thinking this would be a no-brainer - of course, I'd know that - with the first day of school being a week and a half away. While I'm usually pretty in tune with other people's emotions, I'm not always the most aware of my own.
I mean how could this little peanut . . .
Well, such is life . . . I know in my heart that he'll be fine. He loves school, but I will miss him. I'm sad to not spend the better part of the day with him. I worry about his transition. He still naps some days. Oh, how I can worry. I have questions like - Will he make friends? Will he be picked on? Will he feel alone and scared? Did we make the wrong decision sending him to public school?
I was talking with a wise person who correctly said, "you're having trouble letting go of control." It's true. I want to be there to wipe every tear and beat up any mean kids, but I can't. That's not life. Control is an illusion. So, now, like we have to do all the time as parents, I have to surrender him to Someone who is in control. If I'm there to wipe every tear and kiss every boo boo and solve every problem, he'll never see that he needs Jesus.
Ah, but easier said than done. I am choosing to be strong for him. He needs to know that I believe in him and that I am "for" him and that I know he will be fine. And he will.
On a sunnier note, I wanted to share some cute pics from the week . . .
She sat there and ate 2 lemons, crazy girl!
I couldn't help but laugh at this picture and think of Lily Tomlin playing "Edith Ann"
Monday, August 8, 2011
Grace and Officer Charles
Since I'm committed to being real, here's a real life story from my morning . . .
I dragged myself out of bed to go work out at the Y this morning. On the way out of our neighborhood AND back in, there were about 4 policemen with motorcycles at the entrance. I wasn't stopped, but made a mental note to myself to remember since I had to leave again in about 45 minutes to take Little Guy to swim lessons.
We rush out the door. I tend to be generally on time, but I was feeling particularly hurried because I wanted to get there early to get a shady spot, which is a hot commodity - no pun intended. I had to stop in the middle of the road to help Little Guy with his seat belt - argh - more people coming to take my shade!
Well, Frantic Fanny here forgot the police were there and sped down the road at 43 mph in a 25 zone . . . Of course, I was pulled over. The fault was mine, so arguing was pointless. And we also know (don't we?) that 33 year old wives and moms of 2 do not flirt with police men, right? I couldn't even summon any tears. I was definitely in the wrong! I decided to take the - being nice route. He told me how fast I was going.
Me: "I'm so sorry. We were late for swim lessons."
Officer Charles: "Swim lessons, huh? When's the last time you had a ticket?"
Me: "uh, um, not sure - college, maybe?"
He walks away to do something with that little checker device that I'm sure can tell him everything from where I was born, to when my last ticket was, to what I had for breakfast this morning. He calls out from his motorcycle . . .
Officer Charles: "Where'd you get that accent?"
Now, I thought he said something about that "accident," because I was in a doozy of one in college, but I pulled it together, figured it out, and said . . .
Me: "Virginia - southwest part."
Officer Charles: "I grew up in North Carolina on the coast."
We have something in common being born below the Mason Dixon line! I'm hoping, hoping this is good for me.
He comes back over . . .
Officer Charles: "You were going 43 mph in a 25 zone. That's $254 and 3 points on your license."
my heart sinks . . .
Officer Charles: "But I'm writing you a ticket for not having your registration (which I know you probably do). It's $10 and no points on your license."
I want to jump out of the car and hug him. Instead I stammer around . . .
Me: "Thank you so much. I am so sorry, so sorry!"
He says it's okay and starts talk about how cute Little Guy is that he looks like me and shows me a picture of his son and asks if he looks like him. Oh, Officer Charles, somebody award him "Man of the Year."
Grace - not getting what you deserve. Thank you, Jesus, for grace in all shapes and forms!
We made it to swim lessons and a birthday party after though! This is a funny video of the birthday guests watering a tree . . .
I dragged myself out of bed to go work out at the Y this morning. On the way out of our neighborhood AND back in, there were about 4 policemen with motorcycles at the entrance. I wasn't stopped, but made a mental note to myself to remember since I had to leave again in about 45 minutes to take Little Guy to swim lessons.
We rush out the door. I tend to be generally on time, but I was feeling particularly hurried because I wanted to get there early to get a shady spot, which is a hot commodity - no pun intended. I had to stop in the middle of the road to help Little Guy with his seat belt - argh - more people coming to take my shade!
Well, Frantic Fanny here forgot the police were there and sped down the road at 43 mph in a 25 zone . . . Of course, I was pulled over. The fault was mine, so arguing was pointless. And we also know (don't we?) that 33 year old wives and moms of 2 do not flirt with police men, right? I couldn't even summon any tears. I was definitely in the wrong! I decided to take the - being nice route. He told me how fast I was going.
Me: "I'm so sorry. We were late for swim lessons."
Officer Charles: "Swim lessons, huh? When's the last time you had a ticket?"
Me: "uh, um, not sure - college, maybe?"
He walks away to do something with that little checker device that I'm sure can tell him everything from where I was born, to when my last ticket was, to what I had for breakfast this morning. He calls out from his motorcycle . . .
Officer Charles: "Where'd you get that accent?"
Now, I thought he said something about that "accident," because I was in a doozy of one in college, but I pulled it together, figured it out, and said . . .
Me: "Virginia - southwest part."
Officer Charles: "I grew up in North Carolina on the coast."
We have something in common being born below the Mason Dixon line! I'm hoping, hoping this is good for me.
He comes back over . . .
Officer Charles: "You were going 43 mph in a 25 zone. That's $254 and 3 points on your license."
my heart sinks . . .
Officer Charles: "But I'm writing you a ticket for not having your registration (which I know you probably do). It's $10 and no points on your license."
I want to jump out of the car and hug him. Instead I stammer around . . .
Me: "Thank you so much. I am so sorry, so sorry!"
He says it's okay and starts talk about how cute Little Guy is that he looks like me and shows me a picture of his son and asks if he looks like him. Oh, Officer Charles, somebody award him "Man of the Year."
Grace - not getting what you deserve. Thank you, Jesus, for grace in all shapes and forms!
We made it to swim lessons and a birthday party after though! This is a funny video of the birthday guests watering a tree . . .
Saturday, August 6, 2011
busy, busy, busy
I envisioned our weeks before Little Guy starts Kindergarten to be slow and refreshing . . . wrong! Swim lessons, birthday parties, friends in town - that's been our week. It's been fun though. Little Guy is swimming well and Sweet Girl thinks she can swim a bit better than she can! She is fearless!
The worst part of the week has definitely been some unwelcome house guests, not my friend, Christy, who was in town, but much smaller, blacker, and gross-er ones. If you read my post a few days ago, you'll remember that I woke up to a pinch from an earwig. At 6:30am Friday morning, Sweet Girl screamed in her sleep. She was fine, but of course, it woke me up. I thought, "oh, something is tickling my arm." Can you even believe it was another earwig? What are the odds that would happen to me twice in one week? Am I giving off some sort of attractive scent for them? Our house has now been hosed down in Ortho Home Defense!! I couldn't bring myself to sleep in our bed last night, but after a night of tossing and turning on the couch, I think I'm going to brave it tonight!
We've been trying to soak up these days with Little Guy before he starts Kindergarten (sniff, sniff). I really didn't think I'd be emotional about it, but I have been sad, nervous, excited, scared. I have so many questions the first of which is "Have we done enough to prepare him?".
This was a fun Little Guy moment today . . . Blair and I scoured the house from top to bottom. Little Guy played a game of Mario Kart right before his rest time. I was feeling very thankful for Blair for helping me clean, so I said, "Little Guy, do you know you have the best dad in the world?" He said, "yes, mommy, I already know that." I wasn't satisfied, so I wanted to reinforce the point. I said, "not all daddies help mommies clean the house. Your daddy is special." He said, "I know that Mommy. You've made that very clear." Writing it out it sounds a little sassy, but he honestly just knows that he has an amazing daddy. You also wonder where in the world they pick up these phrases. "You've made that clear." doesn't sound like something I say a lot, but you never know.
The worst part of the week has definitely been some unwelcome house guests, not my friend, Christy, who was in town, but much smaller, blacker, and gross-er ones. If you read my post a few days ago, you'll remember that I woke up to a pinch from an earwig. At 6:30am Friday morning, Sweet Girl screamed in her sleep. She was fine, but of course, it woke me up. I thought, "oh, something is tickling my arm." Can you even believe it was another earwig? What are the odds that would happen to me twice in one week? Am I giving off some sort of attractive scent for them? Our house has now been hosed down in Ortho Home Defense!! I couldn't bring myself to sleep in our bed last night, but after a night of tossing and turning on the couch, I think I'm going to brave it tonight!
We've been trying to soak up these days with Little Guy before he starts Kindergarten (sniff, sniff). I really didn't think I'd be emotional about it, but I have been sad, nervous, excited, scared. I have so many questions the first of which is "Have we done enough to prepare him?".
This was a fun Little Guy moment today . . . Blair and I scoured the house from top to bottom. Little Guy played a game of Mario Kart right before his rest time. I was feeling very thankful for Blair for helping me clean, so I said, "Little Guy, do you know you have the best dad in the world?" He said, "yes, mommy, I already know that." I wasn't satisfied, so I wanted to reinforce the point. I said, "not all daddies help mommies clean the house. Your daddy is special." He said, "I know that Mommy. You've made that very clear." Writing it out it sounds a little sassy, but he honestly just knows that he has an amazing daddy. You also wonder where in the world they pick up these phrases. "You've made that clear." doesn't sound like something I say a lot, but you never know.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Prayer Update for August
Monday, August 1, 2011
swimming, pizza, and earwigs
For just having come back from a long trip where sleep was a luxury, and there was zero comfort in our zones, our kids did amazing. If you have kids, I don't know if you have this problem, but I call it "re-entry." It can happen 1 out of 2 times. 1 is when we have been gone, and they have been angels for whoever was taking care of them. BUT, when they see mommy and daddy, everything they've wanted to cry or whine about for however long comes out . . . 2 is if we have been somewhere on a trip and come back home. I'm not exactly sure why this happens, but we can usually expect 2 to 3 days of whining, fussing and general bad moods.
Amazingly, this did not happen after Colorado. On Saturday we enjoyed a nice day at the pool. This is me giving a double piggy back ride. Actually, I guess I'm giving one piggy back ride, and Little Guy is giving the other.
Luckily, that night I had the ingredients for a homemade pizza, since a major restocking trip to the store had yet to happen. Here are my 2 little chefs helping assemble the pizza pie, and yes, we threw the dough in the air like real professionals! I wish I had a picture of that.
Another nice surprise coming back from Mountain Time - I experienced no jet lag, and the kids slept until 9am for a few mornings! Poor Blair had a harder time falling asleep though. Well, it was about 7:30am on Sunday morning. My alarm was set to go off at 8am. To my great horror, I woke up to a sharp pinch on my face! Now, I am the kind of girl who detests bugs. My fear of spiders has threatened to overtake my life sometimes. I kid you not, I will still check the bed for bugs on some nights! Thankfully, it was no spider, but when my eyes opened, I saw a little black thing scurrying across my pillow. It was an earwig. After we killed the wretched thing, I jumped on Google (as all 21st century people do) to find out if they bite and if I'd have to go to Urgent Care for some strong antibiotics. They don't bite, but they do pinch, and so it happened that Sarah Pippin awoke to a pinch from an earwig - not in my top 5 ways of being woken up on any given day, but I survived! (I'll bet you can guess our first stop after church that morning . . . Home Depot - for some Ortho Home Defense!)
Amazingly, this did not happen after Colorado. On Saturday we enjoyed a nice day at the pool. This is me giving a double piggy back ride. Actually, I guess I'm giving one piggy back ride, and Little Guy is giving the other.
Luckily, that night I had the ingredients for a homemade pizza, since a major restocking trip to the store had yet to happen. Here are my 2 little chefs helping assemble the pizza pie, and yes, we threw the dough in the air like real professionals! I wish I had a picture of that.
Another nice surprise coming back from Mountain Time - I experienced no jet lag, and the kids slept until 9am for a few mornings! Poor Blair had a harder time falling asleep though. Well, it was about 7:30am on Sunday morning. My alarm was set to go off at 8am. To my great horror, I woke up to a sharp pinch on my face! Now, I am the kind of girl who detests bugs. My fear of spiders has threatened to overtake my life sometimes. I kid you not, I will still check the bed for bugs on some nights! Thankfully, it was no spider, but when my eyes opened, I saw a little black thing scurrying across my pillow. It was an earwig. After we killed the wretched thing, I jumped on Google (as all 21st century people do) to find out if they bite and if I'd have to go to Urgent Care for some strong antibiotics. They don't bite, but they do pinch, and so it happened that Sarah Pippin awoke to a pinch from an earwig - not in my top 5 ways of being woken up on any given day, but I survived! (I'll bet you can guess our first stop after church that morning . . . Home Depot - for some Ortho Home Defense!)
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