Every year on 4/16 I reflect a lot on what happened that day at VT; but more than remembering where I was and what happened, I wrestle. I struggle with the evil that happened in my town on my campus. I am burdened with the questions of why God would protect one of my friends, yet allow another to be killed.
Both friends loved God. Both had loving, supportive families, with bright futures ahead of them. Yet one is gone, and the other enjoys his life as a young father. Why? What would Lauren be doing today if she were alive? She would most likely be a missionary in another country, serving God and loving others. Maybe she'd be a mother also raising her kids to know and love God and people.
Beyond the isolated incident on that spring day in Blacksburg, it makes me look at all the evil in our world. We live in a society where people are enslaved so that we can pay less for products, where domestic violence is rampant, and children are forced into prostitution to satisfy the lust and greed of men. This is not to mention the terrors of ISIS, Boko Haram, and others around the world. Evil is rampant. It is not just Active evil, but Passive disinterest. If the U.S. came together, we could easily feed all the hungry children of the world, but we don't. We don't care enough. There are so many problems in the world, we get overwhelmed and change the channel when we see the images of the starving children in Africa. Out of sight, out of mind. I'm guilty as charged.
I'm left with questions of why and I don't have an answer. I am certain that if God's grace was NOT present, our world would be far, far worse. However, why does He choose NOT to act in some situations while He does in others? Why does He prevent one child from being taken by human traffickers while others suffer years of abuse? Why did one class barricade the door 8 years ago, while others did not?
I believe the Bible is true and God is loving, so in faith, I believe God knows what He's doing and try to trust that He had the best in mind for each victim and their family. Suffering draws us closer to God and opens us up to deep life change more than anything else, so I know from experience that God can use the painful times to grow us. Often, it's the only way He can get our attention. I wish this were not the case. I don't like to hurt. Can't there be another way to get our attention?
In my own life, I believe God used this and other loss soon after to begin the process of showing me a lot about myself, my heart, and my issues. I shared more about this in my reflection last year. But I also believe He used it to open my eyes to the reality that God calls His people to actively pursue justice and work against evil. Had I not gone through the evil that one student chose to inflict on others, I may not be so passionate about working to fight for justice and an end to human trafficking today. I have seen evil and I want to stop it with God's help. I guess there's a silver lining in my story. I only hope there is some good that can be found in each life that was touched by this tragedy.
Today, I pray for those who loved and lost 8 years ago. This day must be gut wrenching for many of them still. I ask God to be close to them and hold them this and every day. May He continue to bring hope and healing to those who are hurting as a result of this and every tragedy in our world.
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