February Update: Answered Prayers!

2015 has been a bustle of activity. From the National Weekend of Prayer to End Slavery to the 7th Annual Orlando Human Trafficking Awareness Day event, we have been quite busy. But these things are just the tip of the iceberg. We are most thrilled about the opportunity we were given to bring our new dynamic human trafficking prevention program to a public high school. Check out our full update to read more about it here.

Strength and Justice

Sitting in the same room with a victim of trafficking and 3 of her traffickers is an eerie experience. Today I did just that. I never spoke with them, but I listened and I learned. The 3 traffickers were sentenced in a federal court to years in prison for their abuse and exploitation of this teenager.

I looked at these people and thought, "How could you be this capable of such horrible evil?" They looked like any normal person you'd pass on the street. I saw their families crying for them. The ring leader even had a family and young children! I feel for the kids who will reap the consequences of their father's terrible choices and pray that they do not follow his path. He will be in prison for the next 20 years.

But what touched me most was the courage of a teenage girl who had the strength to testify against her captors, people she had trusted who turned on her. In today's sentencing, she bravely shared how she has been recovering from the drug addiction the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by her traffickers. She is still in counseling but is growing. She will have a different life if she carries such courage with her into her future. I believe she will because to stand in the courtroom with the very people who abused her took guts, and she may have more than anyone I have ever met. I admire her.

In the span of a few minutes, I witnessed human strength on two ends of the spectrum. On one end was strength used to degrade someone for selfish greed. On the other was strength used for justice, to make things right (righteousness). God was in that courtroom today giving His strength to this teenager. He was also present, bringing justice and restoring order to a broken world. The justice system in our country may not be perfect, but today was a good day. Today, traffickers went to prison for a long time and will no longer be able to exploit and abuse children.

Now we pray for this soft-spoken teen's continued healing and restoration but we also pray for those entering federal penitentiaries. We pray that God would intervene in their lives, that they would truly repent and their hearts would be changed by grace. We pray for them knowing that, if the circumstances were different in our lives, we could have made the same horrible choices, and we praise God for His grace in our lives that kept us from that path.

Making up for Lost Time

In our transition, life has been a bit busy, so we apologize for not posting our prayer updates from the past few months. They have been quite full. We hope as Christmas approaches you are also able to slow down and enjoy the season. Maybe you'll have time to read our past few newsletters. You can view September, October, and our Thanksgiving note. Thanks for your prayers!

New Ministry Focus

In our most recent newsletter, we wanted to let everyone know that we are making a shift in our ministry focus.  To learn more about the details of our work, check out our newsletter here.  Thanks for your prayers!!!

Seeing Jesus in the Most Surprising Places

Sometimes I'm amazed at the faith people have to walk into difficult places to serve the Lord. A few weeks ago I interviewed a graduate from one of the Cru ministries who is serving God in an amazing way, loving some of the most difficult people to love. Below is the short article I wrote up about Laura. As I finished up writing I couldn't help but thank God for her and pray for her.  I hope you will do the same.

photo courtesy Julianna Boehm Photography

“It’s hard work but it’s unmistakably filled with the heart of God,” says Laura when asked about her job as an occupational therapist within a state forensic psychiatric hospital. This hospital exists for people who have committed crimes from murder to assault and are placed there due to mental illness. Laura says, “A good day is one where no one hurts someone else.”  

In college, Laura was drawn to occupational therapy because she desired to help people engage in everyday life skills. As she shadowed occupational therapists, her interest grew and she knew this was her calling. She believes God has sent her to be an advocate for some of the most marginalized people in society.

She says, “Despite the horrendous things some of them have done, I look at them and say, ‘You are a child of God. I care for you. You are loved and valued.’” Recently one of her patients became suicidal and she was able to speak truth to him that he is a valuable person whose life is meaningful.

After her time in Cru at the University of Indianapolis, she received training from the Medical Strategic Network. This helped her see how her profession as an occupational therapist could be a ministry. Now she says, “My primary ministry is my work.” Some days Laura and her co-workers fear for their lives as they work among dangerous criminals but she also experiences Christ daily in the eyes of patients who are made in God’s image.  

The difficulty of the job has created common ground with her co-workers. They all experience the fear, the exhaustion, and the brokenness. Recently, she held a dinner for all of her co-workers and discussed several essays she had written as she has processed her experiences in the job. All of these included prayers and presented her faith openly.  She shared part of the essays and then gave bound copies to everyone. It was a great opportunity to help her co-workers put language to what they have experienced, see Jesus in it, and open the door for many spiritual conversations to come.  

Laura couldn’t do it alone. She is surrounded by a church community who values what she does and how it relates to the gospel of Christ. She meets to pray with friends from church every morning before she goes to work. Supported by the encouragement and prayers of many friends, she continues to serve the least of these daily, showing them the love and mercy of God.  

Laura is a SENT ONE!

  

May Update: End of a Dream

Setting Captives Free

When someone is rescued from a life of human trafficking, many times they are extremely disillusioned.  They have been told that law enforcement is out to get them.  They are often scared to cooperate with authorities due to fear of retaliation by their trafficker.  

One simple gesture can make a big difference in the ongoing healing and restoration of the victim as well as the possible conviction of the perpetrators.  What is this gesture?  A gift.  For someone who has had everything taken from them, to receive a gift that says, “We care about you,” speaks louder than words.  

This is why we are coordinating efforts to provide every sheriff’s office a rescue backpack.  These contain immediate needs like toiletries and clothes for the victims who often escape with nothing but the clothes on their back.  

The backpack drive is a wonderful way for the community to engage in the fight against trafficking in our area.  We have seen churches, businesses, and individuals donate to the cause.  

There is a great need for them too.  During the month of April, Florida Abolitionist assisted 13 victims who were rescued from a life of slavery.  Most of these received backpacks and are on their way towards a new life.  Please pray for each of them, that God would heal their hearts and restore their souls.  

The End of A Dream

Two years ago, we embarked on a journey to adopt a child from China.  Honestly, we thought we would have her by now.  But in the Lord’s wisdom, He had the process take longer than expected in order to show us that His plan for us is not to continue with the adoption.  We’re honestly a bit confused.  When we started the process, we felt clearly led by the Lord one way and now feel clearly led in the opposite.  It doesn’t make sense to us, but we fully believe that God is good and that He is leading the way. 

We are experiencing a lot of emotions right now.  We are currently grieving the loss.  It feels like dying to a dream we have had for a long time.  To be honest, we fear what everyone will think.  Will you think we are heartless, selfish, not trusting God?  But, at the end of the day, before God, we have to do what is best for our marriage and our family.  We don’t know what the future holds and as we continue to hold a special place in our hearts for vulnerable children, we trust that the Lord will give us new opportunities in the future to be a blessing to kids in ways we had never before imagined.  

We’d like to thank you for your faithful prayers as we have been in the adoption process.  We ask that you continue to seek God’s face on behalf of the orphans of the world. Also, we ask for you to pray for us as we grieve the loss of the dream.         

Reflecting on 4/16/07, 7 Years Later

Seven years have gone by since that horrific morning in Blacksburg.  In some ways it feels like yesterday and in other ways it seems like ages have passed.  That day our son was approaching his first birthday, now he's a second-grader; our daughter, she wasn't even a thought.

I can remember so much of that day, 4/16, a day Hokies everywhere memorialize.  A day we all change our Facebook pictures to the VT ribbon.  A day we pray for the families and friends deeply affected by the loss of loved ones so senselessly.  And a day we all remember where we were and what we felt when we heard the news.

That morning, we were at a Cru staff meeting a few miles from campus when we got a phone call from one of the Moms on our team who was traveling out of town and heard on the radio that there had been a shooting on campus.  Immediately we turned on the TV to see what was going on.  We watched, along with many around the country, as the number of victims rose and rose throughout the day.  There was nothing we could do but watch and pray.

Eventually we decided as a staff team that we should make sure everyone in our movement was accounted for so we began calling students we knew to see if they were OK and asking them about others.  We learned that campus was on lock down and many students had to stay in their classrooms all over campus.  Tracking down students took all day because cell phones were jammed with terrified parents calling to check on their children.

That night we gathered as a movement with a few other Christian ministries on campus to pray.  It was there that I found out that Lauren was missing.  Her best friend hadn't been able to reach her, her roommate hadn't seen her, and she had class in Norris Hall that morning.  Once again, we prayed.

My heart sank when Lauren's best friend, along with a group of students, went to her room only to find that she still wasn't there well into the evening.  We could only think the worst but prayed for the best case scenario.  Maybe she was just injured or was at the hospital with a friend.  After all, this girl loved God.  Surely He would spare her life.  The next day I got a phone call that she was one of the 32.  She was one of 3 students in our movement who were killed that day but the only one I knew personally.

She was the most spiritually mature freshman I have ever met and she loved blessing international students.  In my experience, freshmen rarely jump right into international student ministry.  She was unique, one of a kind, with a deep love for the Lord.  I can still remember her prayers with a group of students 4 days before she was killed.  She praised Jesus saying, "Lord, You are just so awesome! I just love You so much!"

I couldn't help but wonder, "Why, God? Why would you take such a wonderful servant of Yours who would have had such an amazing impact on so many lives?"  I know that through her death, many have heard her testimony and have placed their faith in Christ but I still ask the same question.  I don't have an answer.  I don't believe I ever will on this side of Heaven.  The only comfort I have is what I heard her parents share, that they know she is where she longed to be, in God's presence.  If He gave her the option to come back, there's no way she would do it.

In the midst of these questions and doubts I was expected to lead students who were experiencing the same things.  While dealing with the fact that the deadliest mass shooting happened on my campus in a building where I had a class as a student, it was my job to comfort others, to offer spiritual guidance.  I had to stuff my feelings, my fears, my sorrow.  It was the only way I knew to get by.  One of the guys in my Bible study was in Norris and was saved by the teacher's glance down the hall and the students' quick thinking to barricade the door with a table just before the gunman came to their classroom and shot through the door in attempt to get in.  What did I have to offer him as he processed this terrifying event and the survivor's guilt he felt?  I mostly just listened.  I hope I didn't talk too much.  I honestly remember not knowing what to say or even what questions to ask.  I recommended a counselor.  (Today he's married, expecting his first child, and loves the Lord.  I'm really proud of him.)

Looking back, I'm sure I tried to have super-spiritual answers to everything.  That part is fuzzy in my memory.  I think I passed along a John Piper article about the problem of evil.  I felt helpless in a desperate situation to try to help others when I really needed help, myself.

The tears finally flowed on Thursday night at our weekly meeting.  I couldn't stuff it down any more.  It was essentially a memorial service with an open mic for anyone to share about students who were killed on Monday.  Hearing students share about Lauren touched me deeply and I let it all out, there in a room full of people.  I just didn't care what people thought.  (Where did I get this idea that to be a man means you don't cry anyway?  Thanks, media.)

The shootings began to open my eyes to the harsh reality that suffering is part of this life.  It doesn't matter how much you pray, how much money you give, how often you share your faith, or what kind of job you have - suffering happens.  In my head I knew this - of course, the Bible says that we'll suffer.  After all, Matthew 5:45 says, "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." But in my heart I believed that if I dotted all my i's and crossed all my t's then God would keep the rain away.  

4 days after the shooting, my grandmother passed away.  More sorrow.  More rain.  More questions, "Why now?"  So instead of going to Lauren's funeral on Sunday, I attended my grandmother's.  The contrast was, and still is, crazy to me.  The loss of young lives cut short and the celebration of a life well lived.  Still, the sadness piled up.

Within the next year our suffering would continue as we lost 2 children to miscarriages.  This time the pain was closer, more personal than before.  Once again, I thought, "Why, God?  What have I done to deserve this?"  I was mad at God and told Him so.  But when He felt far off, He was right there.  Over the months that turned to years, I'm seeing that God doesn't give us what we deserve.  If He did, we wouldn't have all the blessings we experience.  I deserve the punishment that Jesus endured for me on the cross.  Writing this is a good reminder for me with Good Friday coming up in a couple days.

I'm seeing glimpses of how He has used these difficult things in my life to connect my head to deeper places within my heart.  I do a lot of thinking but rarely know what I'm feeling.  I'm also seeing how much of a control freak I am, working so hard to avoid any kind of pain.  I'm beginning to learn that control is just an illusion, albeit one that I still fight for.  Even more, He has shown me my propensity towards legalism and how I was treating Him like a divine Santa Clause who I expected to grant my every wish.  But He desires more than that.  He wants a relationship with me.  God deserves to be more than a checklist.  I want more than that too.  I want it to be real, not just some formula to get what I want now and eternal bliss when I die.  I want in on the divine mystery.  If God really lives inside of me all the time, if He really did everything the Bible says, then the Christian life is about more than checking off boxes.  It's deep, it's life changing, it's real.  It's freedom.

Today I can thank God for the hard times but I still grieve for the 32 families and hundreds of students who were more deeply impacted by the shootings at Virginia Tech than I was.  My heart breaks for them and I pray that they can somehow trust God without knowing why.  I don't expect to ever know the answer.  Maybe we'll find out when we see Him face to face.  Maybe we won't.  My desire for myself and for everyone who hurts is for the suffering to refine us all into the people who God has made us to be.  May we all remove the masks of performance, let go of control, and trust God to love us, hold us, and lead us.  May we all be free.

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