In our prayer letter this month, we shared briefly about Joseph and Tara. When we asked them, "What has helped you develop a lifestyle of making Christ known to others?" This was Joseph's full response. It is well worth the read...
There are three big big things that helped push Tara and I in this direction, and lots of small things. The three main things are 1) summer project, 2) costly sacrifice, and 3) community. Regarding summer project... it served as a shock to our system in some ways. We were both at different but similar places in our faith before spending a month in Seattle with Here's Life Inner City. For me... I grew up Catholic and had good morals and values... when I was in college I was a part of Cru bible studies, and went on the retreat each semester. Even though I enjoyed all that, the people I knew from Cru were not my primary group of friends. I always found evangelism awkward. Knocking on doors, etc. But now I know there's a simple reason why I was uncomfortable sharing the gospel... I didn't really believe it. Which (when I act this way) is the same reason, to some extent, why there are still lots of moments I find it difficult to talk about Jesus or lack the courage to be bold even now.
So when I went on summer project, and was confronted with homelessness, addiction, violent criminals, and prisoners.... many of whom loved and trusted in Jesus... I began to wonder why/how they could do that? You see... for me, it was harder to see that I had nothing when I felt like I had everything. It's easier for someone who's lost everything.... who's at their bottom... to cling to Jesus... because he's literally all they have. So then the gospel began to be more real to me. I started to see my own addictions and crimes in theirs. Sure, mine looked different, and had far different earthly consequences, but from what I had been reading about the God of grace in my bible, my transgressions looked pretty bad. My sin still separated me from God no matter how good or bad things looked in comparison to others. Yet, he still loved me. Still wanted to commune with me. Still wanted to change me. So on project I said a little prayer while I was on a run... "Jesus... just in case you didn't know already... I'm 100% yours... I want you to be Lord of my life." And then my eyes were really opened and I felt a freedom that comes from the Holy Spirit... knowing I was free from the confines of this world, adored by the Creator, awaiting an eternal future together. And that is an INCREDIBLE feeling! It will give you power to do anything! Least of all... tell other people about it! So I found a new boldness and courage in telling others about Jesus, because I wanted them to experience what I had experienced.
It doesn't have to be a summer project. But taking a month or two to be intentional and pushed outside of your comfort zone for the sake of the Gospel is a tremendously valuable experience.
So when I left summer project, I was forever changed. I was never going to be able to go back to my old life, dual identities, turning on and off God's influence in my life when I found convenient. Well this had a profound affect on the relationship with my then-girlfriend... of 5, yes FIVE years. I really did love and care for this girl, but I knew by the conviction of the Spirit, and a lot of common sense, that we were not headed in the same direction. I had heard some stuff about being unequally yoked (best case scenario in this situation) and marrying unbelievers (worst case). This girl and I talked a lot about it, but it was clear we were not on the same page spiritually. Our breakup was very, very painful. And there was no reason we broke up other than because I loved Jesus and thought he knew what was best for me, and she didn't. That was it. She's an awesome girl, and I pray Jesus meets her the way he met me. But when you lose something or someone... for Jesus, you better make sure he's the real deal. You have to make sure you know what you're getting into, otherwise, you're just crazy. When I made the decision to be more obedient, and cut out some major sinful areas in my life, Jesus met me. He gave me an unbelievable peace after a while, and life was newly vigorous. So I found a new boldness and courage in telling others about Jesus, because I wanted them to experience what I had experienced.
So summer project was the catalyst, breaking up with my girlfriend was the first "real" thing (or sacrifice) I can remember doing as a Christian (the answer to the question, 'does my life look different because I follow Jesus than if I'm not?')... and community is the thing that makes it possible to keep going. I don't have an answer to how communities are formed. Some people rally around a church, some people at work, others sports, or school, or whatever... there are a hundred ways. For Tara and me, we feel extremely blessed to be a part of a group of people (most of whom we know from church, but as time has gone on, various different places) in Philadelphia who are committed to being sanctified by the gospel and sharing the gospel with others. (Side note: It is really messy as I'm sure you know. We hurt each other, we confess and ask for forgiveness... then we do it right over again. I've seen this in my marriage too... I just try to focus on being as good and quick a reconciler as I can!) I don't know how we all found each other. Living in the city helps... for one, we're all right on top of one another. I have about 30-40 really good friends who live within five or six blocks of here (five minute walk). We know a lot more about each other's schedules, jobs, what we do for fun, what we do on the weekends vs the weekday, etc etc. Tara went back to school after summer project, and she experienced great community there as well, biking to friends houses, living proximate to each other. So it doesn't have to be unique to Philadelphia, or even cities in general, but you do have to try so much harder in places where you are more spread out. In the city we're also confronted with the urgency of the gospel because, as I mentioned before, things are a little more raw down here.... homeless people, drugs, crime, etc. It's easier to see the need people have for Christ every day. And knowing and understanding that that is true of everyone (according to the bible, and real life confirms this!) compels us to take this need to our workplaces as well -- despite the fact it is definitely not as clear that people need Jesus there. It's the same problem I had before I went on summer project... I thought I had everything, so why would I need Jesus? I am so infuriated with my sins that are hidden because of the time, place, and class I was born into. Wealth blinds. Jesus talks about it. I don't want that for my friends and coworkers. And I found that the Christians in my community didn't want that either! They were encouraging and challenging me to love freely and be a good ambassador of the gospel. So I found a new boldness and courage in telling others about Jesus, because I wanted them to experience what I had experienced. And it repeats because I see other Christians do it. And because they're my friends and I do life with them, we all just end up doing it together.
Sorry this is so lengthy, and in sort of a narrative format, but I figure it's probably easier to read a story than almost any other literary form. I hope it sheds some light on how we got to the point we're at. For Tara and me, we feel like we have such a long long life ahead of us of loving others for the sake of the gospel. Our savior's sacrifice was so costly that we could never imitate it perfectly on this earth. Luckily for us he doesn't call us to that, and we know we'll never be more or less loved or approved by Him than we are right now. Gosh, that grace compels us to want to live more sacrificially, and the torment of our sin getting in the way of that makes us ache and groan for heaven. I'm going off on a tangent now....
"We'll never be more or less loved or approved by Him than we are right now." May we share this incredible love with those around us.
